Bullying and ASD: Acceptance vs. Awareness
What began as a seemingly lighthearted joke took on a life of its own. Mark was in class doing his usual best to learn, complete his work, and make it through the school day. Three neurotypical classmates start making jokes about the neurodivergent behaviors that Mark exhibits. The joking and teasing become a daily occurrence. There is a balance of power from the leader of the joking. He sees Mark as an easy target. This situation spiraled, leaving Mark in tears, hiding behind his ASD mask. He feels lost and alone. His inability to speak clearly doesn’t help. He stammers and cannot express what is happening to those who care about him, whether at school or home. In addition, Mark is afraid to say anything to his parents or the other caring adults in his life for fear that he will lose his so-called “friends”. As the joking and teasing continue for weeks and months without being addressed, Mark cannot manage his anxiety/depression and suicidal ideation becomes a growing part of Mark’s thoughts. He does not recognize that his thoughts could lead him to a tragic long-term solution for what should be a short-term problem.
This is a day in the life of many autistic individuals. They desire meaningful friendships and relationships, yet sometimes do not have the skills to make or keep them. Mark is just one of the myriad of individuals with a developmental disability who struggle with these issues. For years, April has been Autism Awareness Month. It is my opinion that the public is already aware. We must learn to accept. As a general rule, we are fearful of what we do not understand. Those who are neurotypical cannot begin to understand how devastating it is to desire relationships when establishing or maintaining them is intensely difficult. This requires empathy rather than sympathy which simple awareness brings.
Research has shown that over 60% of children and young adults with autism experience bullying. This systemic issue alone creates an epidemic situation for those who experience bullying. Unfortunately, some adults are just as prone to model this type of bullying behavior for the children and youth in today’s culture.
Surely, there must be more that can be done. Research has also shown that when peers intervene, 50% of bullying situations stop. We, as a society, need to teach our children and our youth that standing up for those who are different than themselves is not only essential but the most ethical choice they can make. This should start when children are young and should continue through adolescence.
“Acceptance” of neurodivergent individuals means fully embracing the characteristics of their reality, whether positive or negative, without resistance or evaluation of them, and simply acknowledging what is true rather than obsessing over how things could be different–within the neurodivergent and neurotypical communities. It is this definition that needs to take the place of autism awareness. Let’s move beyond awareness and move into acceptance. If not now, then when? If not you, then who? The time has come for radical changes in the way those with developmental disabilities are seen and perceived. I, for one, am ready for the challenge. Who is with me?